Well this is just one of those personal, random thought-rants that I just felt like putting out there.
Truth is, I had a pretty good discussion with a good friend, and one with a close friend, another with a friend who was being quite negative. And well, I honestly do not care enough to make it a point to talk about the negative one (despite the fact that [s/he] was wishing for such an opportunity). Anyway, all these discussions just made me reconsider the “elderly/parental” advice of being careful of who you hang out with; because the truth is that your “friends” really do impact the way you think, feel, and react.
So even though you might feel bad for speaking your mind and hurting someone, you should really not care about it, because the truth is, they really are able to bring you down. If you believe in yourself enough to realize that this person was just pulling you down, you would understand who is good for you. The person was just not making any sense at all about what they were so “passionate” about, yet they talk about how they wish to make it, yet they do not even go along with its flow; they just do not act like they want it, they just rather act like they want the attention from it or its reputation.
Some people, despite being so aggressive/friendly, petty/deep, annoying/funny can make an honest impression, even by just being fake. It’s just amazing, to find out that what your “mentor” said about feeling what people are is actually so incredibly true. Sure the friend says
“oh I’m excited about it”, but through the “normal” tone, you can sense that they’re merely passion-less, empty people.
It’s annoying just because of the fact that you wasted a small bit of sense on them, only to realize that they are only wasting your time and effort (even passion) just by being themselves. It’s just that you realize that the person automatically started being an “adult, smart, reasonable” person about a dream and an awesome chance, just by being him/herself. Well it’s just absolutely annoying.
I thought my words might not make enough sense for a reader to understand/connect to, so I’ll try and rephrase:
You have been “wanting” to do something for such a long time, you have been wishing to be that something, and you have been talking about how you wish to be that thing. Yet at the time of reality, you have been nothing but a thorn up your own bum. You talk more than a politician, because it makes you feel better about yourself; and only when it gives you an excuse for why you are such an absolute failure will you ever chase it. You know why? Because you did not have the balls to say what you wanted to. Truth is, since you decided on not taking action by speaking your mind, you have misled yourself (and your other self), into believing that you are doing your best.
I find it sad and pathetic. I find it annoying that your other self just let you take the fall for their own weakness instead of standing up and speaking for themselves, and I find it annoying that you just let people use you by being selfish, tantrum-throwing “adults”.
Thankfully I have a few friends that just make me feel happy about everything that goes on, by being themselves, and by reminding me of how they have so positively influenced my personality.
Ah, well it’s just there are so many things that I could say, but it’s just not worth the while, I’m pretty sure that I’ve given people I care about their share of love.
Actually that makes me feel really happy.
Here’s to those friends. I’m sure I have already let you know by now, of how much I appreciate and look up to your patience, ability, performances, motivation, and strengths. Truth is, we are what our surroundings make us out to be.